Supporting birth parents in adoption

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Working with birth families in adoption 

Build trust through transparency 

• Be clear about your role, responsibilities, and the purpose of your involvement. 
• Avoid jargon; use language that is understandable and respectful. 

Acknowledge emotions 

• Recognise that birth families may feel fear, anger, guilt, or shame. 
• Validate their feelings without judgment, this helps reduce defensiveness. 

Prioritise empathy and respect 

• Treat parents as partners, not adversaries. 
• Show genuine care for their perspective and cultural background. 

Communicate consistently 

• Provide regular updates and explain processes step-by-step, including early permanence, what this means and why this type of plan has been recommended for the child. 
• Ensure families know what decisions are being made and why. 

Be culturally competent 

• Understand cultural norms, traditions, and values that may influence parenting. 
• Ensure you have documented the family’s traditions, cultural norms etc, as this could form part of the child’s life story work and inform their identity.  
• Avoid assumptions - ask questions and learn from the family. 

Focus on strengths 

• Highlight what the family is doing well and build on those strengths. 
• Use a strengths-based approach to encourage engagement. 

Manage expectations 

• Be honest about timelines, possible outcomes, and limitations. 
• Avoid giving false hope or unrealistic assurances. 

Ensure safety without alienation 

• Balance child safety with maintaining family relationships where possible. 
• Explain safety plans clearly and involve parents in creating them. 

Document carefully 

• Record all interactions factually and professionally. 
• Avoid subjective language—stick to observations and evidence. 
• Ensure photographs are taken in family time sessions as these maybe important for life story work in the future.  

Self-care and professional boundaries 

• Working with birth families can be emotionally challenging. 
• Seek supervision, reflect on practice, and maintain boundaries. 

Future support for birth families and maintaining connections 

Ensure birth parents are aware they can be referred to PAC-UK for further support: Contact details: 0300 1800 085, [email protected] www.pac-uk.org  

Explain future plans for maintaining connections to the birth family members.

Please note: letterbox agreements don’t have to be signed by the birth family and they can give verbal consent.